I get by with a little help from my friends

St Nectans Glen – a little cairn for our girl

My friends and family have been completely pivotal in my journey so far. Without them the weight of what has happened to us would have been far too heavy to handle.

I have always had a relatively small group of friends and they have all been close to me for very long time, the strength and support that little cluster of people have provided could rival a whole army. It only takes a thoughtful message or a little act of kindness to remind you they are a force to be reckoned with and one I could not do without.

My husband, amazes me daily with his ability to carry us as a couple and reassure me when I’m feeling low, he is selfless at a time when I know the pain is still as strong for him as it is me… together we are still learning to live this new life and without the calmness he brings to our home I’m not sure what kind of a wreck I would be!

There is family, near and far, blood and surrogate, all chipping in with little parcels of love. A hug or a squeeze, a message or just the general day to day occupying my time and my mind and helping me see the weeks through. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you love like this.

Then there is another group, the community within Instagram sharing stories of loss and some of hope and blog writers penning their inner most thoughts and making mums like me feel a part of something, a shared experience, a sounding board and some reassurance that all these feelings are “normal”.

What I am learning is that I am one of the lucky ones. I read and hear too often about families who have lost friends following the death of their babies and am astounded that at a time when someone needs you the most that there are people that would turn their backs rather than face you and your truth.

I am lucky that Wren is not a taboo to me, my family or friends. All of these individuals make up my safety net, the one that stops me falling through the cracks and I am truly humbled by this every single day.


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